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A New Perspective on Competition: Enjoying the Game, Not Just the Win

For years, I’ve lived in a world where competition reigns supreme. Whether it’s at work, in social situations, or even during casual games, I’ve always found myself driven by the need to win. The thrill of being the best, the fear of falling short, and the relentless pursuit of outshining others have often felt second nature to me. However, I recently had an experience that made me question my entire approach.


I played a Padel match with some colleagues, and I lost.



Now, losing isn’t something I’ve ever been comfortable with. I’m the type of person who stays behind to practice, who can’t let go of how I could have performed better, and who often sees coming second as being the first loser. This Padel match was different. Despite not winning, I walked away feeling genuinely happy. For the first time in a long while, I enjoyed the experience for what it was - not because of external rewards or recognition, but simply because I had fun, connected with others, and even learned something new.


This realisation was a turning point. Don't get me wrong, I’m still competitive, and I obviously still love to win! But I’ve found that I’m enjoying myself far more than I used to, even when I lose. The pressure of needing to be the best has lightened, and I’ve started to appreciate the experience itself, whether or not I come out on top.


1. Shifting Focus from Outcome to Experience

One of the biggest lessons I took from this Padel match was how much joy there is in simply playing the game. Winning or losing are external factors, but the experience itself - whether it’s solving a problem with your team, working through challenges, or laughing at your own mistakes (after maybe calling yourself names) - is something we often miss when we’re too focused on the final result.


I realised that I’ve been missing out on countless great moments by being too attached to outcomes. Learning to enjoy the process, appreciating the teamwork, and embracing the challenges along the way has already made my experiences so much richer.


2. Redefining Success

When you’re deeply entrenched in competition, success often looks like a trophy, a title, or some form of tangible recognition. But I’ve begun to redefine what success means to me. In that Padel match, success wasn’t about the scoreboard, but rather about how much I learned, how much enjoyment I found in the game, and how I improved throughout the game.


Success can be about improving yourself, gaining a new skill, or simply making lasting memories. It doesn’t always have to be linked to external validation. Once I redefined what success meant for me, it became far easier to appreciate the experience itself without feeling the pressure to always be the best.


3. Cultivating Mindfulness

Another thing I’ve started practising, both in competitive environments and beyond, is mindfulness. It’s all too easy to become caught up in thoughts of what might happen if we lose, how others perceive us, or what’s at stake. But mindfulness teaches us to stay in the present moment, to appreciate what’s happening right now without becoming fixated on the outcome.


During the Padel match, I found myself completely absorbed in the game - focused not on the end result, but on the interaction with my colleagues. This shift in focus allowed me to relax and enjoy myself, rather than feel stressed or anxious. By being more mindful, I could appreciate the game itself rather than worry about where I stood.


4. Letting Go of Ego

Much of being overly competitive stems from the need to protect our ego. We often tie our self-worth to how we perform in comparison to others. Losing can feel like a personal failure, as though it reflects our value. But the truth is, losing doesn’t define who we are.


By letting go of my ego during that Padel match, I was able to laugh at my mistakes, learn from them, and move on without feeling burdened by the idea of being “less than.” The freedom that comes from not tying my self-esteem to winning has been incredibly liberating. It’s perfectly fine to lose sometimes - that’s how we learn and grow.


5. Fostering Connection Over Rivalry

Finally, this experience taught me the value of connection over rivalry. Yes, we were competing, but the camaraderie, teamwork, and conversations we shared throughout the match were far more meaningful than any victory could have been. We laughed, strategised, and learned from each other.


In a competitive world, it’s easy to view others as obstacles or threats. But when we focus on connection rather than rivalry, we open ourselves up to deeper relationships, new perspectives, and shared experiences that are far more valuable than any single win.


Conclusion: The Joy of Letting Go

Playing that Padel match with my colleagues was a turning point for me. It reminded me that life isn’t about constantly proving ourselves, chasing victories, or comparing our achievements to others. It’s about the experiences we have, the people we connect with, and the lessons we learn along the way.


By shifting my focus from winning to simply enjoying the moment, I’ve found more fulfilment and happiness than I ever did through competing. I still love winning, but I’ve realised there’s joy in playing itself, and that’s what makes it worthwhile.


If you’ve ever struggled with being overly competitive, I encourage you to step back and enjoy the journey. Life is far too short to be endlessly chasing victories - sometimes, the real win is in simply playing the game.


Written by Joshua Llewellyn-Jones (Founder Lift Club)

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